Feeling of loss

It's been a long time since I wrote up something here and what better than writing about the most authentic, common feeling we all have - loss. By the way, a little foreword before I start: this post has nothing to do with my current state of mind or heart or what ever. So take out any thoughts about that and enjoy the post :)


To start off, of late I have been reading a lot of books on human behavior, behavioral economics, human psychology - no deep stuff, just the daily life activities and incidents which have been studied by eminent people in a more scientific way. I will list down some of the books at the end of this post so you can have a share of the excitement :)


'We humans are basically loss averse' - this is a common conclusion that you will come across in most of the books on human behavior. Yes, we do not like loss, considering loss of any thing and in any magnitude. This is something we face so often in our daily life that we often neglect this as a feeling sometimes. Just check how many times you get that feeling tomorrow and I am sure you'll be surprised yourself. One of the best examples is buying a costly phone. You know that it'll be well worth the price, but you still hesitate to buy it because you are worried about the cost - which is basically worry about loss of money. What's your story?


So like any scientific study, psychologists and behavioral economists have tried to analyze this feeling in much detail. The following text talks about some broad conclusions they came up with.


First and the most common thing they attribute the genesis of this feeling of loss is the feeling of ownership( the feeling of something belonging to me/ feeling of mine). Yes, it is the very feeling which makes us happy about anything in our lives. Don't believe me? Try recollecting things you really like in your life, and you will find your ownership of those things in varying proportions. When we are in ownership of things, we feel in control. Once we lose the ownership, the feeling of loss starts slowly. The more you think of it, the deeper it grows. Loss of time is a related thought. Now this is just one side of a coin.


Somewhat related to this feeling of ownership is the feeling of love. We fall in love all the time with something we own, and that's very natural of us. Over a period of time, as love grows and matures, our bonding with things/beings increases, naturally again. And then the inevitable happens, and then enters our old 'feeling' - loss. As you would have guessed, the magnitude of this feeling of loss is almost directly proportional to the magnitude of our feeling of love toward that object, sometime its even non-linear ;)


There is one more factor which I feel could be one of the causes of this feeling. These days our information consists of a lot of motivational talk, how to be successful, hopeful, stay positive, etc. Though this is good, I feel it is also inculcating the feeling of loss inherently and indirectly within us. Today's competition is yet another factor affecting our daily decisions. Combine this with all the background voice of 'self-help', a small failure can lead to huge feeling of loss - enough to take lives.


So what is the solution, you ask? It's something which we have to come up with. One solution which is often prescribed is the concept of detachment. Difficult to achieve or even follow, we are humans after all right ;) But yes, this seems to be the proven way of mitigating ourselves from the feelings of loss. It is often asked to be rational to the situations, but I've found it to be easier said than done. So yeah, you now have the formula for success, hopefully :)


So in the end, am I saying that this feeling is bad? Something which we have to overcome? Absolutely not!!! This is one of the most natural feelings among others. Rationally speaking, what you have lost is lost, there's no point in brooding over it. All I say is just observe and analyze this feeling more, you might explore a lot more of yourself :)


Happy feeling :)


Following is the list of books I read over the past few months:

1. Nudge by Cass Sunstein and Richard Thaler 
2. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
3. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
4. The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford
5. Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely
6. The Upside of Irrationality by Dan Ariely

2010 - an year

Its been a long time since I wrote my last post, and I think it was a review of the year - 2009. Well, this time, nothing was really so exciting when compared to 2009, but I think its a good thing to look back at things and learn something from them.

So 2010 started off with some usual idiotic New Year hype stuff at home (I don't understand why people 'celebrate' one more year). So essentially, my first day of 2010 was partially sleep deprived. But overall it went well since I got to meet my best friend after a long time. Later in the second month, after a couple of trials and journeys I got my Driving License (I know its not a big deal, nevertheless a 'yay' for that!).

The third month brought some unexpected changes to my work place - serial resignations from my team mates. I had no idea why they quit all at once, but I was later enlightened by my ex-colleague. But otherwise things went smooth. Had to learn things which were totally unrelated to my past study and work, but it was OK. I guess I did a good job of it - so they say. Somehow my work was not continuous, I had to wait for different things and reasons.

Then there was a not-so-good time. I had two accidents in the span of 24 hours - a bike and an office bus. And then TECh Days happened. This gave me an opportunity to give my first Tech talk at the office, it was just awesome!

After that, life was pretty much plain, nothing really interesting happened. Hope this year brings new opportunities.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year, have fun, stay safe.

2009 – the year that was

As another year comes to an end trying to inscribe the good memories and farewell the not-so-good ones it gave along the way, I wanted to sit back and ponder upon what really happened in a 365 year journey(well almost). And as I started to gather some thoughts from my poor memory, I realized that this was not just an year, it was an experience that I would never forget in my life; for I learnt some of the most important lessons in life…

Work, pain, joy
My new years, unlike others’, are generally not so enthusiastic; but this was different. I was going to my first job (well Internship technically)! After 23 years, I would be landing in a company! The very thought of it filled my New Year day with all the enthu and zeal. Yeah, I did my internship at Motorola India Research Labs, Bangalore. It was at this place that I had my first experiences of a ‘real corporate world’. “They say you never forget your first job”. Well after hearing this in one of my favorite TV series, I thought it doesn’t sound so real. But, this job remains to be my ever lasting memory. Ofcourse it was not all roses; I had to learn something totally out of my knowledge, had to work with some very annoying devices, had to code in C (I used to loathe working in it earlier); but like they say, the more you run away from something, the more of it you get. 6 months of all the effort was made an ease, thanks to my mentor and the team. I also witnessed a harsh reality of professional life – job termination, how companies ruthlessly fire people in the name of cost cutting.

Life outside college
Almost every time I met some senior at college, they used to say that life is good as long as you are in the safe hands of college (and hostel tooJ). We thought – heck, we’ll have money, no assignments and tests and a whole lot of freedom. But little did we realize that those assignments were far better to tackle than the outside world, accepting the fact in a hard way; as always, life teaches you in a hard way! Some of my woes were solved since I stayed at my cousin’s place but that made way for a different problem – commutation. With 6 buses a day to change and 4 hrs to spend in transit, that was one helluva ride. But in a way that taught me to be more attentive and punctual.

Joy, fate and luck
It was all good until the completion of internship. We had a great reason to celebrate as we would be getting our M.Tech degree after 2 years of hardwork. But the bigger reason to worry about was our job. Thanks to the economic recession, we saw the worst campus placement ever in the history of our college. It was something we never expected. Despite of all the brand name and degree, we had to remain jobless for a very long time. It was during this time that I experienced my first ‘joblessness’. Everywhere I went, people were cursing the IT industry and offering free and completely unsolicited advices to join banks, power plants, what not. Damn! Some of the brightest minds had to struggle a lot to end in a job, let alone a ‘decent-pay’ job. After four months of waiting I finally got into a company. Those four months made me realize the single most important factor in success – luck. You just have to give in to it.

Even now it’s not so rosy life for some of my friends, but we all have started to accept the hard realities of life. Bill Gates once mentioned ‘Life is not fair. Get used to it’. And this year has taught me the same in more ways than one…

Minimizing dependency

There is a design pattern that we learnt recently which says exactly the same. Yeah it is of course in the realm of objects and classes, here I am trying to convey the same in the more complex domain of we human beings…I don’t understand why certain principles and rules that fit with other objects(physical) just don’t get along well with humans…this also assures me that we are special J. Enough of beating around the bush, come to the point!!!...right? Yup, gotcha! So what I was saying is that we need to minimize our dependencies in our lives. I know this is a pretty bold statement to make and even harder to follow in real life, but hey, we all can give it a try right?

Philosophers always say that our life, as a human, is very intricate web of objects, people, emotions, thoughts with ‘dependency’ among these being a very important gel that binds them together. Now though it makes our life simple in most aspects (e.g. being dependent on nature for sustenance), it so happens that sometimes, we end up wasting a whole lot of time and effort depending on other things (esp. people) to happen. One very simple case is a situation in which you depend on some other person to help you out and due to some reason, he doesn’t stand up to his word or he delays things. In this case, in all the possibility you could have saved all that time waiting for that person by working on things yourself.

But sometimes, you can’t even avoid such situations. You just have to wait and wait until things turn up and you get your work done. Most of the times, we blame it on our fate and ill-luck and unfortunately we don’t have much control over them. Some situations though can be handled by us. The only mantra that I observed to make this work is to work out things ourselves, if we can do that; and do them as early as possible. I know there are hardly any situations where you can do this, but there are such ones for certain and it is upto our attention to notice such cases and save our ‘precious’ time. After all, time is money ;)

For now, I am dwelling on the Design Patterns…

Expecting to not expect

Yeah, you read it right…never expect anything. Be it from work, people or even life. Now you might think this guy is being a real pessimist, but hold on…I assure you that by the time you reach the end of this post, you will realize what I am trying to convey and some of you might even agree with my words. Coming back to what I was saying, yeah, never expect anything…good or bad. The reason why I am saying this again and again is that lately I have realized that our expectations might not turn out to be ‘real’ in the ‘real’ world. And most of the times, we are left with grief and endless thoughts about what went wrong…where did it go wrong…etc…etc.

Back in my school days, we had a lesson that conveyed the same meaning, in an amusing way, albeit with a positive spirit. The author had, through some his real-life experiences, conveyed a very simple mantra for a happy living… “Always expect the contrary of what you really want in your life to happen”. I don’t remember how happy it made the life of others, but I surely got some good scoldings from my parents for talking ‘negative’ things. But now I realized that better don’t expect anything at all…for your own good J. And by the way, this is what even our Gita says J … ‘the cause of all sadness is your interest in things (or rather, expectations on things, life, luck, people)’

Sometimes its so annoying that what we expect not to happen does let alone something good…I guess fate has its own way of teaching the same principle. I myself have gone through so many of themL. Out of my experiences, I have realized that its not right for us to expect something. Do something because you like to do it…don’t expect the result; love somebody because you love him/her…don’t expect any reciprocation. Instead, I think its good to have confidence in what we do and hope for the best.

After all this long lecture on expectations, I still feel how difficult it is for us to not ‘expect’ something. So am I expecting anything(or nothing?)…well, I am one like you J

P.S: Thanks to my friend for his caption which stirred my thoughts to write this post.

Is genius congenital?

Human body has fascinated humans ever since the human race has begun to understand things. Everyday, we observe things, we learn a lot of them but never do we realize the immense potential locked in us. Starting from this post, I would like to share some of my thoughts on this wonderful system which I have tried to acquire from various resources. However, the master, "Brain" remains my favorite pick; and so I started off with the "Master" himself - Human Brain.

 

Yes...Is genius congenital? Well, many of us have been (or would be sooner or later be) confronted by this very question. And most of the times, we do shrug off our shoulders by considering the answer to be YES. Well that is true, but surprisingly, not always. So the answer to the big question is 'Yes and No'. Looks controversial? Well yes, it is. And that has always been in the world of the most beautiful and intricate system in this world - Our Human Body.

 

Whenever we see a person outperforming others in a radical way, we often resort to a simple and obvious conclusion - "He is a genius by birth". But even seldom do we think about other reasons such as why is he like that? What made him achieve that incredible feat? Was he practicing that trick all along? Is he good at other things as well? Or most profoundly, is he a real genius? These were some of the questions lurking around in my mind as well over a period of time. Recently, I have had the opportunity to watch some really good videos on human mind and its power and also the hot topic of this post - genius itself! Here are some of the interesting and even mind-boggling findings about our mind...

 

Our mind is the most complex organ of our body. With over some millions nerve cells or neurons and other tiny tissues and organs and weighing just about a kilogram, our brain sits on top of the body controlling everything that's going on in it. It’s a known fact that it’s the connections among the neurons that decide our all our thought processes, including intelligence and memory. Now what is that that differentiates the infrastructure of a brain of a genius and an average person? Well, to some of the people, its pretty much hardwired by birth...which gives them the name congenital geniuses. But most of the geniuses have hardwired their brain to behave more intelligently at their will and wish. Yes, it is true. Everybody even you and I can create such masterminds. What we don’t know is that this is actually possible.

 

Susan Polgar is a Grandmaster in chess game. But it’s quite interesting to know that she was just an ordinary girl like any other in her childhood. It was her father's psychiatric experiment that turned her into a chess genius. No it’s not about giving some shocks or anything. Years of hard work, dedication, passion and desire have literally hardwired her once-normal brain into a genius. Can you imagine a 14 year girl to actually study thousands of books and understand millions of chess games? Susan did. Now she can beat a world champion at chess in 60 seconds...yes literally 60 seconds. Now this level of intelligence is not something she got by birth. Her desire, passion, hard work paved way to some really mind-boggling results.

 

Our society is full of such examples. In fact according to a survey, there are more such custom tailored brained people than the actual congenital geniuses - musicians, dancers, scientists, businessmen and many more. If you study about them, you will find that despite being amazingly good at some things, they are not quite good at other things, which might come as a surprise. Is a person who is extremely good at dance equally good at mathematics? Well not often. Reason...it’s not only the genius, but also the knowledge.

 

'Practice makes a man perfect'... now a cliché, is extremely important and can become a single most powerful tool to attain the mastery or genius. While some people have the knack of cracking the problems like cutting a cake, some people solve it quite diligently and based on what they have learnt with their experience. Doing something repeatedly actually hardwires the nerves in the brain with that task and after some time, you need not even think of how to do it. This is what exactly happens when you learn a bi-cycle or reach your home through a complicated path even after a long and tiresome day and never forget that path.

 

Now is there any limitation to this 'hardwiring' process? Or is there any 'threshold'? Well, NO. The mind's capacity is unlimited. Actually, the more you utilize it, the more powerful it becomes, just like any other muscle in our body. All it needs (physically) is good food, fresh air and good rest. And when it doesn't get these, don’t worry, it knows how to take care of that...something which is not under your control after some limit. But, yes it needs practice; and not just some random practice, but a highly systematic one. That's why our parents insist on having a timetable, keeping surroundings clean, and being disciplined.

 

We all have some amount of genius inside us, buried deep within. Only some of us dig that out and reap the benefits. Most sadly, the very thought that 'we don’t have it' almost always holds us back from achieving the impossible. The moment we break that barrier, every one of us can become the super-genius.

A day to remember...

23:59:59 14th August, 2007

"Hurray!!!We submitted the first assignment in IIITB!" yelled one of my friends with joy.

Yes! it was definitely an achievement in itself for us. It was not any where close to what our country had achieved 60 years ago but it definitely was. And that became a stepping stone for all the achievements that would come our way later in our lives...

00:00:00 15th August, 2008

One more year of Independence and one more moment of achievement. This Independence Day is definetely one of the most memorable days ever in the history of our country. The reason - we have with us the person who brought us a Gold Medal in a Singles Event in Indian Olympics history for the first time. Well this was of course one of the many other achievements made by our country in the past one year.

The yester year witnessed some of the grand achievements and also some gruesome incidents. With the Ambanis and the Mittals making their way into the list of richest people in the World, India is now the place for Billionaires and the World is looking for more...Yes, the 'more' here includes IT, Nuclear Power, Education, Economy and many other key areas and arenas used to judge the progress of the nation. Last year saw the rise of the Rupee and fall of the boom of IT - a major setback for the Indian IT companies, resulting in the lay-off of the employees. Nevertheless, a considerable amount of growth was witnessed in many industry segments.

If that was what the past had for us, what does the future hold for us? A new ray of hope, a vision for growth, a potential for development. Yes! the future promises to be better than ever - only if we tap all the aforementioned ingredients for success. We are more powerful than ever, poised for a sustained growth. We encapsulate in us the enormous amount of energy required to turn the heads of the world and look up to us.

So our action plan? Get started on personal improvement first, which would initiate a chain reaction in million others which would eventually trigger the ultimate course of action for National development.

Our mantra - "Arise, awake and stop not until the goal is reached"

Jai Hind!!!